Life Threatening Experience Essay

Life Threatening Experience Essay-37
Without denying the substantial benefits I have derived from my treatments, I nonetheless believe that the maintenance of health depends as much upon the promotion of wellness as it does upon the combating of disease.This is a lesson I have learned from my paternal grandparents.Here is my suggestion for an alternative introduction:“My reticence regarding traditional medicine does not result from want of experience–indeed, I have spent so much time in hospitals during my life that I am all too familiar with traditional treatments.

Without denying the substantial benefits I have derived from my treatments, I nonetheless believe that the maintenance of health depends as much upon the promotion of wellness as it does upon the combating of disease.

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Her edits added much color and a great flow to my essay.

I loved the way she articulated my ideas so masterfully. I am definitely going to seek her services as I work on my secondaries.”Dear Jane, I read your essay with great interest.

My reticence regarding traditional medicine does not result from want of experience–indeed, I have spent so much time in hospitals during my life that I am all too familiar with traditional treatments.

Born with various congenital defects, my life has been a blur of cardiac, thoracic, and gastrointestinal surgeries, and by the age of five, I was as familiar with taking medication as I was with eating cornflakes.

Employing a chronological structure in your essay helps the reader understand the evolution of your ideas.

Leaders Are Born Or Made Essay - Life Threatening Experience Essay

Overall, my editing sought to refine your descriptions in order to make your essay even more captivating and convincing.

Diagnosed with the same unknown autoimmune disease, my mother’s sisters found relief in acupuncture and yoga, but my mother turned to surgery to treat her pain.

Unfortunately, surgery could not ease her suffering, and my mother still experienced far more discomfort than her sisters.

The following are specific comments on the individual paragraphs of your essay: This is the most important paragraph of the piece. Your original first paragraph alluded to your work experience, juxtaposing the effectiveness of Western and alternative medicine.

This is a fine approach, but you have a much more compelling detail–the story of your own illness–that could illustrate your point much more effectively.

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